Here's the funny thing, the only person who will probably ever read this is my sister. I think that is supposed to say something about the person I am but if it does, that doesn't make sense. I see and hear people doing and saying awful things about other people all the time that I would never dream of saying or doing and somehow I'm sure I'm more lonely than most of those people. I don't know, I'm not throwing myself a pity party, I guess I'm just sad. And the truth is, I'm only sad because of a stupid dude. I didn't want to feel this way about someone again especially him but here it is. How is it that he loves me but when he's having a bad day, avoiding me makes it better. Some "love" huh? But I can't openly talk about this to anyone because no one wants to hear it. I'm just sad today I guess. Just like I was a couple days ago. Or a couple days before that. And then other days I'm just so happy and content. Just like I was yesterday. Or maybe a few days before that. I don't know anymore. I'm not asking for the kind of love that's there all the time. I just want a love that's consistent.